Sunday, January 29, 2012

The internet is about to die, and nobody seems to notice..

Since it's inception, the internet has been a haven for free speech. It's an open system where anyone can log on and have literally countless different ways to express themselves to the world. Beyond that, it's also made it remarkably easier to find people around the world who share your beliefs. Beliefs that perhaps aren't as appreciated in your local community or social network. The internet has brought people from around the world together in ways that would have been incomprehensible just 25 years ago.

The entire globe has become a smaller, more interconnected community as a result. Services like Wikipedia allow access to an unprecedented amount of information in an instant. All one needs do is perform a quick search and receive access to a wealth of information on virtually any topic you could think of.

Services like MSN messenger, and Hotmail provided an unprecedented level of communication possibilities. No longer were there prohibitive costs in keeping in daily contact with friends or family that lived far away from you. You would simply log in and be instantly connected. Services like this have evolved even further with tools such as Skype which allows you to have face to face video chats with people from anywhere on the planet.

Sites like Youtube have provided amateur media creators to share their work with the world. A young fledgling director trying to have his message heard no longer has to mortgage his home and navigate the twisted world of talent agents and producers to get feedback on his creations. Now he can simply upload it to Youtube for all the world to see.

The unprecedented level of freedom of expression provided by the internet is perhaps the single greatest achievement since the invention of the telephone. It has literally changed our entire society, from business practices to personal relationships there are few aspects of life that the internet hasn't changed. The internet in itself is the very definition of freedom of expression. A system that derives it's success from the fact that it isn't regulated in any serious way.

Well, that's on the verge of changing. Governments around the world are starting to realize that the internet does something that they'd seemingly not considered until lately. It allows us, the people, to control the message. One could say that the media and the press do the same, but media companies can be influenced, and despite the popular belief that we have  a free press, we don't. Our newspapers and news networks are owned by media companies. Corporations that no longer care about such lofty ideals as freedom of the press, or freedom of speech. They purchase news outlets seeing not freedom for the people, but a crafty new marketing tool to influence the very culture the press should be protecting.

Recently in the United States two pieces of legislation faced a harsh reaction from US citizens. SOPA and PIPA were being discussed, and very nearly implemented as law. These laws would have given power to media companies and the government to censor any message they didn't care for. The proposed laws would have made it possible for the government to shut down a website that had been accused of copyright infringement. Yes, you read that right. "Accused". There would be no due process, no investigation or hearing to determine if shutting down the site were warranted. No warrants, no witnesses required. Nothing. Plain and simply, the accused would have literally been guilty until proven innocent.

How does that affect you you might ask? After all, you don't have a website with infringing content right? It doesn't matter. Let's say, like myself, you occasionally blogged. Now, let's say that recently you had a bad experience with the local school board. We'll say that they suspended your child because he was of a particular religious belief. Horrible right? Well let's say that you decided to focus your outrage into an online explanation of what happened. Then, you log in the next day to find your blog removed. Having caught wind of your whistle blowing, the school board has filed a complaint stating that your blog was being used to share copyrighted information. Ridiculous right? Of course, they simply didn't like the message you were presenting the public. But it doesn't matter. The proposed laws would make it mandatory for your service provider to remove the site entirely. No investigation, no proof.

The potential for abuse of such a law is obvious I would think. So the American people took to their phones, and email accounts and let their representatives know in no uncertain terms that it was not acceptable.

Problem solved right? No. The same lobby groups that pushed for these laws in the US are pushing them here in Canada, with significantly less publicity I might add..

Take a look at the following link.

http://www.michaelgeist.ca/content/view/6257/125/

The proposed bill C-11 would incorporate the same ideas into a Canadian law. Run a website aimed at disparaging Bell business practices? They can get you. Voicing complaints about Rogers poor service and internet throttling practices? One accusation of infringement and you're gone.

What really bothers me is that virtually nobody seems to realize that we're about to lose the internet. Contrary to what some believe, the internet isn't "owned" by corporations. It isn't controlled by companies, it's owned and controlled by the people. Us!

These bills aim to change that. They are literally an attack on free speech. And nobody seems to give a damn. In 5 years when you're no longer able to voice your opinion online, when every status update you submit to Facebook is first reviewed for content, just remember, you had the chance to save that freedom, and you didn't seem to care.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The dangers of chastising your creative writing staff through email...

The company that employs me is like many corporations, highly skilled at making various processes overly redundant. For example, the process with which my employer tracks the hours I work in a given week:

Step 1: When arriving at the office we need to swipe a magnetic pass card that allows us access. Each time we swipe our card, it is recorded and the information is sent to pay roll. At the end of the day, we are required to swipe the card again indicating that we are leaving.

Step 2: We are required each day to keep a spreadsheet indicating exactly what we did during the day, and how long each activity took. So if I work on one project for an hour and a half, I enter the project name into one column, then what I did in another, the status of the project after I worked on it in another, and then finally I would enter 1.5 hours in the last column. This needs to be emailed to our management at the end of the work day.

Step 3: There is a sheet outside the door to every department with all of the relevant employees names on it. On this sheet we are required to indicate what time we arrived, what time we were in and out for our breaks and lunches, and what time we left for the day.

Step 4: This step isn't always used, but when working extra hours, or less hours than our normal shift, we are required to email payroll and our management and indicate what hours we worked, and the reason for the discrepancy.

I am not the most dedicated employee when it comes to this process. In fact, I often forget to swipe my card at the end of the day. The door that the card opens does not require a card swipe to leave, only to enter the building.

My manager sent me an email yesterday as I'd forgotten to scan out on Tuesday. My reply follows:

Hi (Managers name omitted),

I offer the humblest of apologies and pledge that moving forward, I 
will dedicate less of my limited attention span to quality work and 
focus more of it on the overly redundant process of logging my hours 
worked (i.e: Scanning in and out, sending an email, completing a time 
sheet that logs how every minute of my day has been spent and signing 
the in/out sheet in the hallway).

Certainly every step of that process is absolutely essential to keeping 
track of what hours I've worked, and I've no doubt that should one step 
of that process not be followed with exact precision that the entire 
Human Resources departments of (company name) and (parent company) 

will fall into chaos and confusion, leading to the inevitable result of 
(parent company) collapsing as a corporation.

And of course, after the collapse of such a large corporation brought 
on by my seeming unwillingness to follow the proper time tracking 
procedures, (parent company) would no doubt be left with billions in 

outstanding debts. They would naturally have little recourse but to 
sell all of the employees and their families into slavery in some east 
Asian country, leaving said employees to wallow in despair for the 
rest of their lives. Performing menial tasks such as cleaning toilets 
and giving piggy back rides to the children of their wealthy new slave 
masters.

With such an influx of free labor of course, the east asian economy 
would face such an economic crisis as to rival the great depression. 
The loss of paying jobs which have now been filled with indentured 
laborers, would affect the economic stability of the region and 
continue to reverberate through the global economy. Entire nations 
would collapse into revolt and anarchy. Billions would die in the 
ensuing chaos and human civilization as we know it would come to a 
grinding halt. Leaving the survivors with little choice but to revert 
to the hunter/gatherer ways of our ancient ancestors.

Over time, humankinds' progress would be forgotten as the survivors 
focus their attention on a simpler life. Gone are the scientific, 
literary and cutural wonders of the last 2000 years. Gone are the 
cities that once marked the center of human progress and evolution, 
abandonned in the great revolts and now taken back by nature. No, 
humanity would not even reflect a shadow of it's former glory. It would 
truly be the end of the world. 

And all because I didn't scan out on Tuesday.

I am a horrible human being.

Andrew (last name)
Content Coordinator


What makes me really chuckle is that I know she'll be attempting to read this lengthy email from her Blackberry.

I love my job some days.

Note: I feel the need to clarify that the email I received from my manager that precipitated this reply was not actually chastising me, nor was it ill intended. It was a pleasant request for clarification of my hours. The reply was a result of my being a little too bored, and having had a tad too much coffee.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

The New Year is Upon Us

So here it is. The last day of 2011.

In recent memory I can't recall a New Years eve that didn't involve me expressing a desire to be rid of the previous year. Generally this is mixed in with sentiments about the soon to be had drinks. This year is different however.

Despite a few ups and downs and a start to the year that was "rocky" at best, 2011 was pretty damned good to me. I started a job with my current employer that I was well suited for. It was a stressful job for a few months, but it paid the bills and ultimately led to my current position. One that I feel I'm perfectly suited for, and actually enjoy quite a bit.

I moved from a rather low class accommodation into a beautiful apartment of which the novelty still has yet to wear off 7 months later.

I've said goodbye to some friends, and grown closer with others. I've learned that while my life has led to a relatively small circle of friends, those friendships are strong and very important to me.

I've made what I consider to be some great strides forward in my personal life and my way of thinking about the world around me. Placing greater importance on the things that matter, and letting all of the little, unimportant nuisances that used to consume me, sort themselves out.

So this New Years I'm breaking with my unintentional tradition of lamenting the previous years hardships. I'm going to set aside a recap of the things that made 2011 difficult in favor of remembering how much further ahead in my life I am compared to 365 days ago. Like I said, while this year was far from perfect, and had some definite challenges and low points, the good has far outweighed the bad at the end of the day (and year).

So for the first time in quite literally decades, I'm looking forward to the oncoming year. Not because I'm desperate to be done with the previous one, and not because I'm looking forward to some "reset" that gives me the hope of a clean slate, but because 2011 was such an improvement over 2010 that I'm excited to see how 2012 can improve on that.

I have no doubt that there will be challenges and hardships ahead, but that's life. I'm sure there will be many a post on here complaining about some mundane issue that's driving me mad, I am after all still me, but I'm also sure that I'll get through it.

At the risk of sounding corny and sentimental, 2011 was a warm up for 2012. The last 365 days have been practice of a sort for the oncoming year. Maybe 52 weeks from now I'll think differently. Perhaps I'll be writing a lengthy diatribe about how 2012 was horrible and I can't wait to be rid of it. For now though, bring it on.

I'm ready.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Online dating profiles, and the lack of creativity that goes into them...

So, I have a profile on an online dating site. Yes I know, snicker away. To tell the truth I've met a few people from it and it has led to some good friendships, and one or two relationships.

So now that the justifying is out of the way..

One common thread I see women putting in their profile are a statement that they are "Tired of the drama and head games". These are usually followed up with "If you're a liar or a cheater don't bother" (and Liar is usually misspelled "Lier").

Now, without debating the merits of online dating, I have an observation about this particular type of caveat. If I were a cheater or a liar, and read one of these profiles, does anyone honestly think that this would dissuade me? I mean seriously, that's what liars do, they LIE!!

Well there's apparently an entire generation of women out there who think that a statement like this, is like garlic to a vampire. Really ladies? REALLY??

I'll tell you what I think when I read something like that. The person writing it is advertising that she's either too easily fooled, or that she's too intellectually lazy to try and figure out who it is she's spending time with, so she puts this little condition up which allows her to later say "It's your fault you lied to me because I told you I didn't like liars!" or some other such comment that in her mind, relieves her of all responsibility for her bad choices.

Now, I'm not defending those "gentlemen" out there who are less than honest, or view fidelity as a suggestion as opposed to a rule, but seriously.. there comes a point when you have to take personal responsibility for the bad things that happen to you.

OF COURSE you're not looking for liars and cheaters. That's just common fucking sense. That would be akin to me adding to my resume "Will not accept any positions where I'm required to douse my eyes in sulfuric acid". It's not something you need to state out loud for all the world to read/hear. When you do so you're just setting yourself up as "prey" for those that WOULD take advantage. Not to mention you're driving away people like myself who've learned what that line of thinking says about you.

Now, this isn't based on any one experience, and I'm not personally bothered by it. It's more of an issue that bothers me intellectually. I mean, you have to be pretty moronic to believe that "I don't like liars" is going to scare the bejesus out of any liars. Do these women picture the stereotypical "player" salivating over their profiles only to come across that line, slam the laptop shut and run screaming from the room in utter terror? GOD NO!! More likely than not, the potential smooth talker is going to see that and mark you on the list of potential targets.

So I guess my point is this. If you feel the need to advertise such dislikes, maybe the reason you're on an online dating site isn't because you're too busy to meet people, or because you're tired of the bar scene. Maybe it's because there's something fundamentally wrong with the way you see the world, and your expectations about what it owes you.

Oh and if you were wondering exactly what that is; Not a fucking thing.

I'm gonna go get drunk now.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Is outsourcing so bad?

Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm not a fan of outsourcing Canadian jobs to foreign countries. For example call centers. We've all had the experience of calling up a service providers customer support number, only to reach someone in Pakistan, or India or some other far flung nation. Granted, often times these calls are fielded right here in North America by immigrants or such that may sound foreign, but are actually as Canadian as you and I. I digress..

The point is, we've all experienced a similar situation. And the majority of us have wondered why with such high unemployment rates in our own country, do our corporations and businesses send jobs overseas. And that leads to the inevitable outrage about corporations sourcing cheap labor yadda yadda yada..  Well, there is a significant amount of the blame to be laid on said corporations to be sure. Companies that have experienced profit margin increases year after year, yet still produce layoff after layoff as they outsource more Canadian jobs.

I've developed a rather unique perspective on this as of late. The company I work for outsources a large amount of work from my department to one company in Florida, and another in India. Now, in my particular department there are roughly a dozen of us doing what we do. Our company brings in however, enough work that could keep at minimum, 40 people employed in my position. Yet we're still at that low staffing level, and hiring only happens incrementally. Say, 1 new person every 2 months or so.

Corporate greed right?  No.

Out of the 3 departments in the section of the company I work in, two of them are VASTLY understaffed. Mine, and a related department. Now, the work we do in my department can very easily be outsourced, but here's the thing; the other department can't be. For reasons that I can't explain specifically, the other department needs to have the work done here. No outsourcing. Period.

So why don't they hire? Well, I live in a city in eastern Canada that has been hit hard with regards to employment losses over the last decade. Our primary source of jobs were several mills around the city. The last one of which shut down a few years ago. You would think it would be easy to find employees no?

No.

I've come to the conclusion that a large portion of the unemployed are such, because they either don't want to work, or they think too much of themselves. The company I work for hires people with no background, no criminal check, no specialized qualifications needed. It's not call center work, and it's very respectable pay. Yet they can't seem to find anyone who wants to work here. People either get the job, excited about the amount of money it pays, and quit three weeks later when they realize they're expected to WORK for that money, or they just can't handle the workload and give up.

So I've come to the opinion that, while I think outsourcing is a horrible scourge to have ever been unleashed on Canadians, it's a scourge we brought on ourselves! That section of the population that doesn't want to work, along with those who feel that they deserve better than what they're being offered, despite having no real credentials to warrant it.. You are the people who made outsourcing a reality. YOU are the people who first put it on the table. YOU are the people who made the greedy corporations aware of such a profitable system. And most importantly, YOU are the people who provided them with the justification to do it.

As I said, I live in a community with a high unemployment rate, and there's no time of year that this fact is as obvious as right now during the holidays. Some of those unemployed are legitimately so. Sick, elderly, single mothers who can't afford day care..  not everyone is just a lazy bum. But the next time I hear a single white male, in his mid 20s, that's spent 2 years in college and is now complaining that "there's no work here" I'm going to get a map, and point out India to him. And I'll tell him "Your job is over there, go get it you lazy bitch."

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Stupid censorship...

I'm a huge fan of the AMC show "Breaking Bad". It's a really well done show, one of my favourite.

For those who don't watch (and you really should) it's about a high school chemistry teacher who, upon learning he has almost certainly terminal lung cancer, starts to panic not because he's going to die, but because his pregnant wife and his son will be left with no money or way to support themselves.

Well, in a strange set of circumstances involving a ride along with his DEA agent brother in law, one of his former students turned drug dealer, and his own desperation he decides to start cooking meth. (If you don't know what meth is do a quick google search and then smack yourself for being oblivious to the world around you).

This of course leads him into the not so friendly underworld of the drug industry and all manner of calamity that comes with that.

The show is really graphic, almost HBO graphic. In fact while watching it it's not hard to tell that the creators and the studio (Sony) probably envisioned the show on HBO as opposed to AMC.

So moving on...

Netflix Canada recently got the rights to the first 3 seasons which I was thrilled to learn. The show is between seasons right now, and going back and watching the episodes from the beginning is a nice reprieve from the wait for the final season (yup, one more season).

So I get comfortable on the couch, open a beer, get my bowl of popcorn and settle in for the night. Imagine my surprise when I start watching the first episode and they've censored the language. Are you serious? This is Netflix, they have a movie on there called The Human Centipede that takes gore to a whole new level.. Apparently I can watch that, but hearing the word "pussy" is going to scar me for life.

It turns out that the network and not Netflix are the ones that make that choice, and even then, only the pilot episode is censored. That's not the point. My point is this, the people that decided on censoring it did so to the mildest of issues. The word "shit" is actually muted. In the original version of the episode,  our terminally ill main character has a part time job at a car wash after school. Well, in a short scene his mocked subtly by one of his customers who is his student during the day. Needless to say you feel for the guy in what must be an utterly humiliating situation, but there was no foul language, no violence.. nothing.

They cut it.

What the fuck??  So.. it's ok for me to watch a show where the terminally ill chemistry teacher turns to a life of cooking and dealing meth, murders people, dissolves a body of one of his victims in a tub full of acid (they were GRAPHIC with this..), and an entire host of other really nasty things, BUT... It's not ok for me to watch a teenager make fun of his teacher in a situation that probably happens every day in real life. Where is the logic?

Censorship is wrong. Not because of human rights, or democracy or any other high values like that. No, censorship is wrong because it can never ever work. Censorship of this kind is designed to avoid offending people on a moral level. The problem is that no matter what venue, media censorship can't work because it will ALWAYS be enforced based on the enforcers values. The issue isn't legal, or humanitarian, the issue is one of personality. When people try to govern other peoples values it can't work. My values are different than yours, yours are different than your neighbors and so on...

Now some may say that a lengthy post like this is overkill over such a small issue. It's only one episode, it's not like you couldn't find the full episode online etc... Why do I get so worked up over little issues like this?

In India recently the government decided that they want Facebook, Google, Twitter etc.. to start censoring user posted content that may be offensive. They want social media companies to sort through user submitted information such as shared links and images on Facebook and comments and statements on Twitter. Not just big things, everything. Facebook has said plain and simply that they won't do it. I can't imagine Twitter or Google taking a different stance, but that didn't stop the Indian government from trying to get it done anyways.

Here's the thing, how do you think they'd feel about a show about a drug dealing chemistry teacher who murders his competition?

It starts with saying the word "shit" is offensive and we're "not allowed" to use it on TV. Next thing you know you're arrested and sent to jail for not going to church on Sundays. It starts by being told what we're not allowed to think, and moves onto telling us what we are required to think.

Think I'm exaggerating? Try learning about evolution in the southern United States.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

What's so bad about drinking alone?

So I stayed in last night as I usually do on the weekends. I was playing some BF3 while curled up on the couch with the lights down low, in my pajamas, and having an otherwise very relaxing evening. I had some beer in the fridge and I decided to open one while I played my game and enjoyed a quiet evening.

Well, naturally, one turned into two, then three and so on until I was feeling pretty good. Actually, I was drunk to perfectly honest.

So I continued on like this, until it was finally time for bed around 2am. I took a preemptive Advil for the morning, drank some water, and had a great sleep. So I wake up today and while I'm feeling it a little, it's nothing like would have happened had I gone to the bar. There's a couple of empties in the living room, had to wipe up some ashes off the table from where apparently I bumped the ash tray, but otherwise, everything is good.

So my question is, what the hell is wrong with that? Yes, I got drunk alone. But I wasn't staggering drunk, I didn't hurt myself, I wasn't curled up in a ball at the end of the night crying my woes away as many people are want to imagine when the phrase "drinking alone" is uttered. No, I had a good night. I got a buzz on, I spent the evening very relaxed doing something I enjoy and had a wonderful sleep at the end of it.

So where's the problem? We all know the hazards of drinking, particularly drinking in public, but I avoided them all last night. I didn't make an ass of myself in front of anyone, I didn't wake up remembering some conversation that I desperately wish I hadn't had. There was no checking my bank account to see "how much did I blow last night?". I really don't see the issue here.

I don't feel like I was being anti social, well at least no more than usual. I enjoy my private little life. I don't have any particular need to have dozens of different people with whom to go out with every weekend, nor do I feel "lonely" when I'm sitting home alone on the weekend.

So I've decided that "drinking alone" is no longer going to carry the depressing, sad context that is socially accepted for most. There's no more "I drank alone last night". From now on it's simply "I drank last night". Who did I drink with? Me.

(And the dog was there too)