So, I have a profile on an online dating site. Yes I know, snicker away. To tell the truth I've met a few people from it and it has led to some good friendships, and one or two relationships.
So now that the justifying is out of the way..
One common thread I see women putting in their profile are a statement that they are "Tired of the drama and head games". These are usually followed up with "If you're a liar or a cheater don't bother" (and Liar is usually misspelled "Lier").
Now, without debating the merits of online dating, I have an observation about this particular type of caveat. If I were a cheater or a liar, and read one of these profiles, does anyone honestly think that this would dissuade me? I mean seriously, that's what liars do, they LIE!!
Well there's apparently an entire generation of women out there who think that a statement like this, is like garlic to a vampire. Really ladies? REALLY??
I'll tell you what I think when I read something like that. The person writing it is advertising that she's either too easily fooled, or that she's too intellectually lazy to try and figure out who it is she's spending time with, so she puts this little condition up which allows her to later say "It's your fault you lied to me because I told you I didn't like liars!" or some other such comment that in her mind, relieves her of all responsibility for her bad choices.
Now, I'm not defending those "gentlemen" out there who are less than honest, or view fidelity as a suggestion as opposed to a rule, but seriously.. there comes a point when you have to take personal responsibility for the bad things that happen to you.
OF COURSE you're not looking for liars and cheaters. That's just common fucking sense. That would be akin to me adding to my resume "Will not accept any positions where I'm required to douse my eyes in sulfuric acid". It's not something you need to state out loud for all the world to read/hear. When you do so you're just setting yourself up as "prey" for those that WOULD take advantage. Not to mention you're driving away people like myself who've learned what that line of thinking says about you.
Now, this isn't based on any one experience, and I'm not personally bothered by it. It's more of an issue that bothers me intellectually. I mean, you have to be pretty moronic to believe that "I don't like liars" is going to scare the bejesus out of any liars. Do these women picture the stereotypical "player" salivating over their profiles only to come across that line, slam the laptop shut and run screaming from the room in utter terror? GOD NO!! More likely than not, the potential smooth talker is going to see that and mark you on the list of potential targets.
So I guess my point is this. If you feel the need to advertise such dislikes, maybe the reason you're on an online dating site isn't because you're too busy to meet people, or because you're tired of the bar scene. Maybe it's because there's something fundamentally wrong with the way you see the world, and your expectations about what it owes you.
Oh and if you were wondering exactly what that is; Not a fucking thing.
I'm gonna go get drunk now.
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